Peaceful warrior: Relax and open up so the nutrients can come in.
Where is your YES for life locked away?
Imagine living in a relaxed physical body and creating joy and pleasure in the simple activities of your day. Imagine having a home to go to and good company wherever you go in the world. Imagine that your being has the capacity to provide so much value that money becomes irrelevant in your life. Imagine becoming a walking abundant 5-body food gardener and wherever you go there can be aliveness, creation and nourishment. Imagine being truly incarnate and present in your physical body. Imagine being so clear about what you want that your words create what you want. Imagine brushing your teeth differently every time and enjoying relaxation in all your muscles. Imagine being yourself around people you used to be afraid of.
These are some things I could not have imagined before. I did not even know 4 years ago that these were elements I wanted and longed for to create in my life. What experiences have stretched the limits of your imagination? In what ways have you begun to imagine things that were previously out of your reach?
For the last 6 weeks I have been in Crete, at the Cavitation BridgeHouse, an incubator for training spaceholders for Archiarchy Invention Centres and a chamber for people to become the storm of their piece of the puzzle. It was a large AirBnB house overlooking the Mediterranean Sea near Xania on the northern side of Crete, not far from Knossos. Being at this place around these people stretched the edges of what is possible for human beings in my perspective. It opened wide doorways into ways to care more and Love in ways I don’t have words for. It painted new ways to create intimacy and being close to other person. It also revealed the places where I’ve been pretending and pushing myself. The inner pressure that I used to live in the past as a survival strategy became useless.
Right now I’m writing to you from Seefeld in Germany at Qinu and Michael’s house, two friends possibilitators. Even though it is -3 degrees, I’m laying down in a warm bed and in a room of 22 degrees. Over the next few days I’m visiting other friends in the south of Germany. On the 28th January I’m embarking on my next adventure: New Zealand. I'm longing to hug some loved ones over there and create a space to rest and digest the intense experiences of the past few weeks.
From time to time I get messages from people in my family where I grew up and from friends from high school or from when I lived in Brazil, asking me how you ended up where I am now, how I get money to travel so much, what I do with my life, what I do for a living. The simplest answer to all these questions is YES. I am a YES. I'm a yes to what I'm feeling, I'm a yes to what's happening, I'm a yes to the unknown and the fear of not having it all together. I'm a yes to not knowing where I'm going next. I'm a yes to being in the swamp and then a yes to meeting life outside the swamp. After each yes, the next thing unfolds, the next person to talk to, the next project, the right place to move to. Yes becomes possible once you have learned how to say no.
Where are the places in your life that you avoid saying NO to?
What would you normally say NO to that you could say YES to today? In which places of your body can you sense the NO against yourself?
Food and nutrients are all around you. But if you don't open yourself up to allow the nutrients to enter your cells, your tissues, your muscles, your being, your heart, then you may starve, even though you eat every day. What you may need to do is to relax and open up your body so that the nutrients can come in.
I've just come from the Peaceful Warrior Training in Planneg, Germany, a 3 day training where you learn to embody the warrior archetype in your 5 bodies through conscious anger. Wow! I'm amazed at the wonders of dis-intoxicating my system in all 5 bodies and cultivating my warrior for life. I’ve been noticing how much of the time I’m in survival mode on the physical level, my breath is tight, my back and through muscles are tensed up, I want to pee and I hold on until the last minute because ‘I’m working on something important’. Different ways in which I use my own energy against myself. At this training I experienced that it takes a lot of energy to not do what I want. It takes a lot of energy to stop the natural flow of the body. It takes huge extra amounts of energy to survive. I've been DOING Feelings Work for over 2 years and a half now. I'm celebrating taking the next step and shifting from DOING into BEING with my feelings and my physical body.
In this training we watched the film Whale Radar. It is about Kahu Paikea Apirana, a twelve year old Māori girl who wants to become the chief of her tribe. Her grandfather believes this is a role for men only. Although she has every motivation to use her anger to fight her grandfather and plot revenge, she chooses to embody the Peaceful Warrior. She is an unreasonable YES to her mission and what she stands for. She refuses to use her anger to fight. I cried watching this film because of her commitment to fierce love and her use of anger for her YES.
I want to share with you the discoveries from the Peaceful Warrior Training. I was puzzled with where to begin from, what to choose to write about, what is relevant or not to share, what is most alive for me now. I feel angry thinking about how many training places I've been to where I make a bunch of notes in my notebook and they stay there forever. I decided to just transcribe all the notes I took exactly as they are here for you. If you would like to read or hear more about anything in particular from the pile of information below, just drop me a line, text me a message. Necessity breeds creation.
NOTES FROM THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR TRAINING.
What do you think when you read the word Warrior?
For a long time I thought mainly about men. A man who is strong and goes to fights, someone who doesn't feel and it’s ready for anything. Somehow, I learned through my life a distorted perception of what a warrior is, partially from my family, and another part from the references in movies and books.
Through learning to feel my anger and starting to holdspace for Rage Clubs I became more and more curious about what else is possible for the Warrior as an archetype.
“In fact, a warrior has only his will and his patience and with this he builds anything he wants. He knows how to wait. His death sits with him on his mat, they are friends. His death advises him, in mysterious ways, how to choose, how to live life. The warrior learns without any hurry because he knows he is waiting for his will.”
This is a piece of the book Separate Reality that I read two months ago. In different pages I have tears in my eyes and shivers through my spine on re-discovering the archetype of warrior through his words, and as I read, the words are carving space for becoming.
The peaceful warrior training was a next step for me to shift experientially my experience of anger and the archetype of Warrior. I experienced a safe space for me to expand my physical body structures to allow more anger to flow. I went through several practices where I became more centred, clear and in connection, getting an immediate experience of being anchored in my adult ego state.
Abuse against oneself is where the war begins. We even build up a numbness bar to the way we are abusive to ourselves.
Where inside of myself am I against myself?
To not do what I naturally want to do takes a lot of energy.
My bodies and my Being naturally all day long have impulses- to move, to ask a question, to eat this food. It takes a lot of energy to hold yourself back.
All the unconscious NO’s you give day and night is the unconscious use of your anger energy.
Where is the No in my body?
There is an old map of anger.
Anger is too loud and uncomfortable. I discovered that anger is “doing”. I use my anger to do something. I act fast. I’m productive. I’m ready to do more and more. I can do it!
Our whole body is completely connected. When we change something on the top of the head for example, it can reflect throughout the whole body until the feet.
How to bring energy and anger to flow?
We learn to break spaces abruptly. Fully break with the feelings. Learning to let the inner energetic space to get aligned. Let the energy land as an airplane. It retracts and slowly starts coming all the way down.
We have 3 main ways of being in survival mode:
Going forward
Going away
Going inside
Presence happens when you can be in the in-between state. You don’t go away, and you don’t move forward.
Throughout the 6 weeks at the Bridgehouse I noticed that my favorite strategy is either to go away and see myself from the outside or going inside and implode the energy.
When you dissociate your body becomes empty. You are not at home any longer. The bones become only bones with meat around. The energy goes outside you.
Everyone has anger in their bones. It is all there. The question is, how much access do you have to it?
When dissociation happens my body tenses up- it means alert state for the whole system because it is like you are dying. Where am I’m not at home somewhere in my body
When I’m in survival the head joint is the first one that is tied up.
I’m noticing for a while that I have the symptom of itching a lot. When I start scratching, if I don’t pay attention I start hurting myself.
In the peaceful warrior training I discovered that this is connected with inflammation.When I leave my body energetic I leave through my head.
When it is iching is a signal that I have acid in my fluids. The skin is mainly fluid. This also reflects on the smell. My smell gets very intense and acidic.
When I’m in survival my adrenals are activated. It starts overworking the knees. No relaxation is possible at this point. When I have this running through my body all the time I’m basically poisoning my body from the inside. I felt sad noticing more the responses of my body to what I’m creating, and very glad in discovering other ways to listen to the symptoms and change the way I’m in my body.
The ich in my head starts spatially before sleeping. During sleeping is exactly when the body starts to detox.
I did the experiment before sleeping to bring the anger from the skin into the scroll, the bones that protect the head. And then sadness into the skin and in the connection between the skin and the hair. It takes anger to stay there and not follow the habit. This is one the most useful uses of conscious anger. Anger to stay present and choose to not go into the habitual.
When am I intoxicating myself?
Thought- I should already be able to do that…. I’m not doing well enough. Anger against myself.
Feelings- mixing them or putting them in the wrong tissue.
Physical body. Sugar, alcohol, tabaco…
We have different ways in which we feed the inflammation cycle.
When there is inner pressure transformation becomes pointless.
What are the ways to shift out of inner pressure?
*Research more on Inflammation and intoxication.
Notice in which of your bodies you need disintoxicate.
Foot baths help to disintoxicate the body.
Responsible anger is when I’m not scared of my anger
Am I holding on- so let go and start again.
How can I notice when I am holding back?
Notice the physical body. Where are the tensions? Where is the clanching?
If I use anger to push then I’m stacking up the pattern. My physical body has a tension somewhere, and then I start stretching right there to get rid of the pain. I’m not good enough and then I try to be good enough.
Instead there is something completely else possible. Free head joint. Relax the body. Make contact with the physical body.
Most of the time we use anger for DOING. How much energy do I really need to do it?
How do I navigate my energy anger?
How do I sit on the chair right now?
How am I blocking the flow of energy?
Balancing my body from inside, keep moving the energy.
The four feelings are the fuel of our physical body.
Looking from the outside and the experience from inside.
Something happens when I speak, that I can not embrace the whole space- research more about this.
Boundary practice.
Is not about mistrust. When you have a boundary you keep part of your attention in my space all the time. Communicating without running away. Which kind of closeness do I want
Sword practice
How to use the sword as your practice partner. In Japan the sword is the heart of the samurai. The way you practice with the sword reveals a lot of our relationship to life itself.
There are numerous ways in working with anger.
Holding Space
Using fear to navigate in the right timing. When the person never felt anger and you push the person to feel with your anger you are abusing. There is a way to use your anger to invite the person. The flower opened the casp.
One participant says “I don’t understand why I would need sadness. The times that I felt sad I was depressive and having suicidal thoughts. I’m losing the control”
Feelings is a step project. Is something you did not learn with your parents. You just copied what they did.
Things happens in life, and when things happens in life and I dont express, I swallow, I build up a protection wall to not feel
Do sports, eat a lot, be productive- the physical body stores, numbness bar
One of your protection walls is to think, try to understand and analyse.
The suicidal thoughts are not the problem. They are the solution. Is part of the solution.
The moment you start working with your anger, you realize ah, I have more energy in my body. With more anger circulating you are informing to your body ‘is ok to feel’, you are creating space to feel the other feelings
Healing walk in us- our system naturally is looking for the healing genes
The warrior creates more space for what needs to come so it can come.
Inflammation pattern:
You experienced something in your childhood, and then there was pressure from the outside. Each stop is a stone on the wall. Anger against what happens outside builds up the wall to the outside. And then you build up a wall to the inside, to your own impulses and ideias. Then you are in between two walls. The way out of the wall is with sadness and fear.
Practice of the anger in the different ego states
Parent- dominance, evaluating and judging
Child anger- inside of myself talking to myself, mixing with others feelings
Gremlin anger- fight, against something, pushing, pressure
Warriors that can hold space for life.
The power to choose to not follow the habit and stay there. See what else comes up.
https://www.gabrielafagundes.com/en
Find more about Peaceful Warrior here: https://www.aufbruch-trainings.de/peaceful-warrior-training/
Find more about Rage Club here: https://rageclub.org/