In the Smithy

How to use your anger for creation instead of beating yourself up.

You hate.

You hate a lot. For example, the lack of challenge or spaceholding in your life, people's emotional reactions, your own emotional reactivity, that other people can do stuff that you cannot, your own incompetences, that the day only has 24 hours or that you do not know the answer.

While you pretend to have it all together as a good person, your hate is eating you from the inside.

All this hate is fighting to stay hidden because you have not figured out a way to bring anger and all your feelings into something useful. Yet you have a sense of what is possible. You want to be able to move instead of being stuck.

Your being wants to create what is next on your workbench to create, like an intimacy adventure space with your partner/community/team, or the next article, or the next space or even such daring endeavors as an Archiarchy

invention center, or becoming an Expand the Box trainer. There is so much out there waiting to be taken by you.

To even begin this conversation it needs to be said that this article was born out of the author's emotional reactivity, one man holding space and a simple yet uncommon and counter-intuitive new decision: I trust my own reactivity. All the doubt and self-cannibalizing, hatred and tantrum has something to say that was not able to come out before because no one held space to welcome the unfelt feelings, the unspoken words, the unheard care. Once you start listening with a loving heart to your own wounds you will be amazed at the hidden treasures you have been carrying around with you all this time.

Rage is the catalyst on your path in a very different way than sadness, fear and joy fuel your evolution. Let's have a look at how it works with anger.

When you feel angry the first thing that your anger tells you goes along the lines of: “This is not working. Things are not working as they could be or as I want them to be.” There is something out of balance that you care about.

Then as a second hint, the anger has valuable information about what you want to exist instead or additionally to what the current situation offers you. This is Pase 1 of feelings work.

You learn to say Yes, No, Stop, how to set clear boundaries, make decisions…

Two directions. What is the problem? What do I want instead of this problem? What is happening does not match what I want.

So far so good.

Then, create the circumstances in a way that stuff can happen what I want to create what I want. Anger when you are ready to move up the next stage. Anger to hold space for yourself, guardianship.

When I was a child my anger was all the time everywhere too much for my parents, relatives. They locked me in a room. Come out when you are normal.

I decided that I am a worthless piece of shit. I decided that I am too much.

Ive been working with my anger to say yes and no, and be in a group and to be able to speak. I want to be able to create with the anger without being frustrated all the time. Hysterical about myself.

I feel sad now because I appreciate the team writing with me instead of sending me to my room. Part of my anger I can use to ask for a team to help me create what I want when I feel too angry to do it.

Writing about anger is hard because there is no experience attached to words.

Experience comes from applying the meaning behind the words.

What can I tell someone else about how to use anger for creating.

Tell them to bring their anger forward, to not stop the anger, and let it speak.

Tell the golden thread I am going to try that now, but I am only going to use 5% anger because I can inner navigate my anger. I knwo what 5% intensity is.

The anger is speaking now through the golden thread.

Everything was so bad before and that does not matter anymore, because anger is pure, without the stories attached. The big story attached to anger is I cannot do it. There is a problem or something is happening and somehow I attach the story I have already failed because the thing that is not working is already happening.

I tell the golden thread. I am going to make a new decision about anger.

Anger is pure energy and information without a story attached.

I can use it.

I am using it for telling my gremlin to sit, and keeping my small now, holding the space in which there can be a space in which there is not story with the anger. I have space to grow now. Because my gremlin said, thats a great decision because you cannot use your anger for making proposals, for writing articles, saying what you want.

Either I listen to my gremlin or I listen to my anger..

I cannot forge anything out of my anger when I listen to the contamination by gremlin voices.

It is like burning myself, instead of burning the thing that I want to create.

This is a new experiential distinction.

What I get is to start over with anger, use the 5% pure anger, experiential reality. go thorough the day with 5% speak and move and distinguish between the anger and the gremlin. Then do the same with 10% or 20%. Bigger is Dragon Speaking.

There is something else about when the speaking is so gripping, the gremlin is beating eating burning myself up. Before then I missed something and my gremlin took over. I missed something like using my anger to force myself into writing. I am missing a way how to use anger to push myself. Once I start pushing, the only option is to push more and more and more and then go into the basement to scream.

I can now write in a vacuum space rather than pressure.

I have the golden thread in my hand. It is the source of my writing. I am the vacuum. I am listening to the golden thread. I simply need to create a vacuum space with the golden cord rather than squeezing the lemon space, where I am the lemon

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